This is a tribute to Eric Stevenson, who died on April 6,2023 from Carolyn Malian and friends of Eric.
Early Years
Eric was born on Boxing Day 1928 in Mayfield NSW, and like many others in the Great Depression his parents struggled financially. By age five he learned to grow vegetables, and after leaving school trained as an Electrical Fitter Mechanic. As a young adult he was converted by a friend’s father, a Baptist Minister. However he realises later that his “beliefs were not conducive to the development of a mature world view…but they were sincere, compassionate and strictly honest.” In 1950-1 he joined the Christian Radio Missionary Fellowship as a volunteer tradesman. It was at this time he met Ruth Anderson. They kept in touch when Eric departed for the New Guinea Highlands where he established a radio station, did surveying and excavating work for a hydro-electric canal, and lived and worked with local people as well as missionaries from Europe.
Parish Ministry
Returning to Australia in 1958 Eric was accepted by the Methodist Conference to study theology. He and Ruth married that year and Eric was given a student pastorate in the Mortdale-Bexley circuit. At the bus stop on the way home of his first night at college he wrote in his diary from then on I will open myself to truth no matter from whom or from where it was revealed to me. It was a big milestone on his spiritual journey. Their daughter Dorothy was born in 1959. Youth work flourished and a Senior Citizens Centre was established by Eric. Their son David was born in 1961, and Eric was ordained in 1963. He then moved to Lugarno where he helped establish what became the Lugarno Uniting Church, and then to Penshurst.
Mental Health Chaplaincy
Eric undertook university studies after finishing his Licentiate in Theology with Melbourne College of Divinity and was then invited to the position of Chaplain with NSW Mental Health Services, and in 1965 became the first Protestant Chaplain to Gladesville Mental Hospital; his roles included group therapist and counsellor. Over the next ten years he trained volunteers, help found the Marrickville Centre for Human Services, submitted Grant Applications to the Australian Government, became the Secretary to the NSW Council for Clinical Pastoral Education and ran seminars for Doctors, Clergy, Funeral Directors and Social Workers.
Social Planner
Between 1974 and 1976 Eric was involved in research of Welfare Services delivery and carried out demographic data analysis, plus he nurtured positive relationships with emerging migrant and ethnic agencies. Eric, as Director of the SW Sydney Regional Social Development Council, distributed $3 million over a three-year period. In 1977 he graduated MA Psychology from Macquarie University: his thesis included 50 volunteers visiting patients with chronic mental illness.
Uniting Church Marriage & Family Counselling Service (Unifam)
All the skills and experience Eric consolidated along with his growing professional interest in marriage counselling led him in 1977 to become appointed the inaugural Director of Unifam. This Service had at least seven fully-staffed offices in Sydney and suburbs as well as in regional areas and Eric visited them all regularly. Many counsellors had access to other church venues to ensure Unifam’s services were accessible to a variety of clients. Eric maintained very high standards of selection, training and ongoing supervision of the clinical staff, even though they worked un-paid until the 1990s. Under his leadership a training Institute was established with some graduates chosen to work for Unifam. Eric had marvellous networking skills and recruited professionals to provide Unifam with consultancy, management and legal services pro bono. Until grants were provided by the Federal Government a number of Uniting churches gave regular donations to Unifam to assist with the running costs. Eric’s leadership was inspiring – he demonstrated respect for all, practical solutions (like ensuring counselling rooms were well sound-proofed), courage to innovate (despite opposition at times) and nurtured his staff like a kind father. Eric, while head of Unifam, and with the close cooperation of the Family Court introduced Family Mediation services across Australia in 1987. In his retirement speech in 1994 he stated that his experiences “enabled me to see the spirit of Jesus not as the champion of chosen churches, but as the one who meets people of all persuasions and who leads them through pain and misunderstanding into paths of mutual respect.”
Progressive Religion
In his retirement Eric remained active in his community, with Ruth and his family as well as pursuing his spiritual journey, which he described “as a life-long search for and an attempt to reach an understanding of the meaning of human existence.” His world-view had been broadened through his university studies and working with mental patients as well as his encounter with progressive religious thinkers, philosophers and scientists. It was a growing search for truth and love. He willingly entered a world of doubt, uncertainty and risk with less or no emphasis on the supernatural. He recognised more and more that life for many is terrible, full of prejudice, injustice, persecution, abuse, grief, abject poverty, disability and disaster. Eric took to heart the words of Bishop John Shelby Spong; he sought “to love wastefully, live fully and be the best person that I can be.” Eric led a study group exploring together these beliefs at the North Ryde UC for ten years and following Canberra-based Rex Hunt’s establishment of The Centre for Progressive Religious Thought in 2002 Eric applied and was granted permission to begin a CPRT in Sydney. In October 2004 Rev Professor (now Sir) Lloyd Geering (from NZ) officially opened the Sydney CPRT. When Jonothan Rea and Rex Hunt suggested holding a national “progressive religion” conference Eric was invited to become a member of the organising Committee. The first “Common Dreams” conference was held in Sydney at Pitt street UC in 2007 with prominent overseas and local speakers including Bishop Spong (USA) and Dr Greg Jenks, Dr Val Webb and Rabbi Jonathan Keren Black from Australia. A total of five such Conferences were held between 2007 and 2019. Eric found a spiritual home with the Spirit of Life Unitarian Fellowship in Kirribilli in his later years, where he was a regular and welcomed presenter, often leading their Gathering Services.
Final Years
Eric was extremely honest, stubborn, practical, clear-thinking and generous. He wanted to find meaning outside institutions and institutional structures. His life was centred on love for others, especially the disadvantaged, and helping others live an abundant life. He continued growing his own vegetables, and sharing them with others; he became adept at lapidary and silver jewellery- making and even learnt to solve Sudokus. Ruth, his adored wife died in 2009 after many years suffering from dementia; Eric’s care for her was constant, deep and inspiring. When Ruth entered a nursing home Eric visited her every second day, helping to feed her long after she knew who he was. After spending his last few weeks in a nursing home Eric died on Maundy Thursday 6 April, 2023. Like the words of Leonard Cohen’s song “Hallelujah” which were played at his Memorial service, Eric was someone who sought to find Peace in Brokenness, Truth in Love and Joy in Life. He was a person who took risks to help when someone was hurting, accepted everyone as equals and stood up against structures which were unfair – in other words, a person quite like Jesus!
May he be resting in Peace.
Thankyou for writing this tribute to my father, Eric. I would like to take this opportunity to add one of my own which I hope will be enjoyed by your readers.
A POETIC TRIBUTE TO ERIC by Dorothy Hood (daughter)
INTRODUCTION
From the time Eric was admitted to hospital at the end of March 2023, till he passed a few weeks later, I wore a pendant, with very little other jewellery.
It was a gift to my mother from the Luong Family, whom my parents came along side of after they fled to Australia as refugees from Vietnam. A number of years ago, on one of the rare occasions when I wore the necklace out, I sat waiting for a friend and I was approached by a stranger. She was Chinese and asked to speak to me, as from a distance she had noticed the simple beauty of the necklace. She asked me where I got it and I replied it was given to me by my father, as it had been my mother’s. She asked if I knew what it represented. I said no. She said, it stood for “Grace Never Forgotten”. I became instantly teary and I told her the circumstances under which my mother had been gifted the necklace. She said, that made sense. She said, this is the kind of Grace that is never forgotten generationally.
[ NB : just before Mr Luong passed, he revealed to my father that he had lost one of his small sons in the high seas as their family transferred up a long rope ladder from their tiny fishing boat to an ocean liner which stopped to assist them. When I spoke to his son, James, prior to Eric’s funeral, he told me he wept as he wrote his Tribute to Eric on behalf of his mother and family.]
For me, the interpretation from the Chinese stranger held a double meaning, for Grace is the unmerited favour shown to me by God, in restoring my relationship with Him through Jesus and consequently, by that same Grace restored my relationship with my earthly father. Without that Grace operating in my life, I may never have been privileged to own the pendant nor been blessed by the meaning of it.
ERIC & RUTH : Both individually and as a team, had a multi-faceted way of relating to people : a chameleon like ability that enabled them to positively enter in to the uniqueness of people’s lives in a manner that has imprinted their experiences with them, on to their hearts and memories, so that they remain forever grateful….”Grace, never forgotten”.
Over the nine months, commencing with Eric’s initial hospitalisation and concluding with his passing, via perhaps a hundred or more phone calls, texts and emails with loved ones and associates of his, most of our conversations commenced or finished with the words, “I”, “My wife and I…”, “My husband and I…”, “My family and I….will never forget”.
From these conversations, the anecdote about mum’s pendant and my own reflections, birthed this poem.
If you had a personal relationship with Eric, the words may resonate with your own experiences, but regardless I’ve no doubt will prompt memories of your own, where Grace entered in.
I WILL NEVER FORGET
When we came to Australia, we were far from home.
We’d faced danger and death…loved ones were gone.
We will never forget Eric and Ruth were there,
helping us to resettle with genuine care
They reached out their hands and extended their hearts
Encouraged and supported as we made a new start.
We will never forget…
I remember the training I decided to take;
the sacrifices I chose to make.
I’ll never forget that Eric was there
teaching those of us gathered, with genuine care.
Later on, when I faced a desperate need
I knew I could trust him to intercede.
I will never forget…
I was young and faced a future unknown.
Fear gripped my heart and I felt so alone.
I will never forget that Eric was there.
He and dear Ruth always offered me genuine care.
They welcomed me in to their family and home.
With their love and support I found hope to go on.
I will never forget…
I recall how swiftly life changed for us all…
Our son suddenly so sick and oh, so small.
We lived in the country where options were few.
For best possible outcome, we knew what we must do.
For treatment we regularly travelled hundreds of miles
but at the end of each journey, we were met with kind smiles.
We will never forget Ruth and Eric were there.
They supported our family with genuine care :-
car rides from the airport with a lollypop treat;
there was always a meal we were welcomed to eat;
compassion and love, a roof over our head;
a place to de-brief and a warm cosy bed.
The long season ended and we walked from that hell,
so grateful our child recovered so well.
We will never forget…
We often look back on the day we were wed…
The people who came and the promises said.
We will never forget that Eric was there :
officiating with genuine care;
getting us ready to face our big day;
keeping us calm along the way;
waiting patiently while I walked down the aisle;
ready to settle our nerves with a wink and a smile.
We will never forget…
I once lived through the darkest of days :
when the one that I cherished was slipping away;
when the nights were long and the days were bare
and the nearness of death hung in the air.
I will never forget that Eric was there
watching over my loved one with genuine care.
With a quiet word and gentle touch
he brought comfort when the heartache seemed too much.
I will never forget…
I’ve struggled my whole life to face each new day.
I felt misunderstood, didn’t know what to say.
I will never forget that Eric was there.
He reached out to me with genuine care.
He : always affirming, whilst others condemning.
When I found life confusing, he gave understanding.
I will never forget…
I recall the workroom : A sight to behold!!
where settings were fashioned in silver and gold,
cradling carefully cut stones which were polished and shone,
formerly gathered from dirt in the hot Queensland sun.
I’ll never forget that Eric was there,
creating beautiful pieces with genuine care.
He concentrated his efforts hour by hour
crafting possum and leaf and intricate flowers.
Determined to honour every request.
Giving each unique piece : the best of his best.
I will never forget…
I was aging and lived a long way away
from my family in Sydney, whom I dearly missed…every day
but I’ll never forget that Eric was there
penning letters with faithful, meticulous care.
I read over each word telling what the family had done
and always he signed, “from your loving son…”
I will never forget…
My car was destroyed as I travelled one day.
I lay on the ground as my life ebbed away.
I will never forget that Eric was there.
I was the stranger he cradled, with genuine care.
He held my limp body as I drifted above
and looked down to see his posture of love
I will never forget…
My actions caused lives to be taken away.
I remained in prison for all of my days.
The grief and community outcry that occurred at the time
meant I was shunned and rejected as a result of my crime.
I will never forget when Eric was there.
He entered the jail with genuine care.
He turned from the horror and family shame
and instead with compassion and mercy he came.
I will never forget…
I entered Willandra Village one day.
I was a new resident who’d come to stay.
A few days later as I wandered around
I saw a tall, slim, grey-haired figure digging the ground.
I will never forget it was Eric there
tending his plants with genuine care.
After we made our introductions and how-do-you-do’s,
Eric said, “Mate, will you help me grab that sack of horse poo?”.
It was clear he was expert in gardening things (large and small)
and I’m sure what he didn’t know, didn’t matter at all.
While we chatted…into a bag went tomatoes, carrots and beans,
a freshly pulled beetroot….a generous handful of greens.
“Take these and enjoy them”, he said with a grin
“hopefully soon we will garden together again…”
We did…and I will never forget…
When babies grow tired and in want of a nap,
nothing compares to a warm comfy lap.
We will never forget Eric, settled in a comfortable chair,
waiting to hold them with genuine care.
With his eyes on theirs, theirs returning his stare,
The tender love so obvious there.
Whether Daddy, Uncle, Grandpa, Poppy or Beep
there was always a lullaby to rock them to sleep.
“Sleep….my darling picaninny” could be liltingly heard
and soon baby lashes no longer stirred…
We will never forget…
I had sat by his hospital bed all afternoon
but I knew I must be heading home soon.
“Dad… you are tired, so I’ll go …you need sleep…”
So I kissed him goodnight and pulled up the sheets.
I’ll never forget, it was my father there.
His eyes opened to look at me, with genuine care
“It feels so good to close my eyes,
Knowing you are sitting there by my side.”
I will never forget…
Only a couple of weeks ago
I sat by his bedside with tears a-flow.
I’ll never forget it was my poppy there :
frail, but holding my hand, with genuine care.
He spoke my name….. His words were few:
“Missy, I’m so sorry I’m leaving you…”
I will never forget
We would come to visit and bring a treat :
Perhaps a great grandchild or something special to eat!!
But soon time arrived to drive away :
back to our own homes till another day.
We will never forget that Eric was there,
sending us off with genuine care.
Rain, hail or shine, up the footpath he strode
“Love you so much…take care on the road…”
His arm in the air…His cap on his head…
What words lay silent, his eyes fully said…
He waved from the kerb till we turned round the bend.
Now it’s our turn to wave…his life here, at an end…
WE WILL NEVER FORGET…